Kiss me, I'm Scottish
by Lady Henrietta
Summary: Rolanda decides to play an April Fools' joke on Minerva, and of course Minerva wants revenge. ADMM


Disclaimer: All Harry Potter people, places, and things, (all Harry Potter nouns) belong to J. K. Rowlings. This story takes place during Harry's third year.

Kiss me, I'm Scottish

"Are you certain that his is a good idea?" Remus Lupin asked Rolanda Hooch as they peered around the corner, waiting for Minerva McGonagall.

She smirked. "Of course it'll work. I'm tired of seeing them pretend that they are not in love. This might help to jumpstart things." She paused as he grimaced and rubbed his jaw again. "You should have that tooth looked at."

"I'll do that when I am finished with classes for today. I just hope that she does not want to hex you into the next century for this," he remarked, brown eyes meeting yellowish eyes.

"Everything will be fine," she concluded, kissing him on the cheek.

Minerva walked by, not suspecting anything, even though the date was April 1st. Rolanda came over to her with her hands behind her back. "Good morning, Min," she said.

The other woman nodded politely. "Good morning, Ro. I'd love to stay and chat, but I have a class to teach."

Rolanda hugged her before she could get away, silently sticking the sign to her back. "Ro, are you feeling alright this morning?" Minerva asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Most definitely. I'm just feeling a bit chipper today," she responded.

Minerva eyed her curiously, but continued on toward her class. Rolanda went back over to Remus. "This should be a very interesting day."

The entire day students were playing practical jokes on each other, a few even venturing to play them on the staff. Remus' class tried to play a joke on him by telling him that the boggart had escaped. What they did not know was that he had moved the boggart from the wardrobe the previous evening. When he opened the wardrobe and there was no boggart in it, he told them that it must have been hiding in the room. Soon the students realized that their prank had backfired. One of the students in Rolanda's flying class pretended that his broom was out of control, but it was evident that he was only stunt-flying.

Minerva's day seemed to be endless. She could not understand why the students kept staring at her strangely. A few of them even snickered. She looked down at herself and found nothing amiss. Finally at the end of the day she was organizing her desk when Albus Dumbledore entered.

"How are you today, my dear?" he asked kindly.

She tried to suppress the butterflies in her stomach enough to smile and reply. "It has been a terribly peculiar day, but then it is April Fools' Day. What brings you here this afternoon?"

He wanted to tell her that she was the reason, but he was not certain how she would receive such a statement. "I just felt like taking a stroll and I found your door open."

She tried to conceal the disappointment in her eyes at thinking that the reason for his visit had nothing to do with her. She turned around to place a book back in its place on the bookshelf when she heard him approaching her. Wheeling around, she found him standing fairly close to her. She raised an eyebrow as he took her hands in his.

"My dear, you have a marvelous suggestion on your back. I am only asking your permission if I may indulge in it," he requested in a quiet voice.

He neared her and she attempted to hide her nervousness. "I don't know what you mean, but alright."

To her astonishment and shock, he leaned down and gently kissed her. She began to entwine her fingers with his and regretted the end of the kiss. She closed her eyes for a moment. "You have no idea how long I have been waiting for you to do that," she whispered.

He kissed her again, tenderly. "And you have no idea how long I have wanted to do that. The truth is that I love you, Minerva. I have for years."

She threw her arms around his neck and they embraced. "I love you too, Albus, but why tell me now? And if this is your idea of an April Fools' prank-"

He cut her off with another kiss. "It is most definitely not a practical joke. The sign on your back gave me the idea that perhaps you were trying to tell me something. You have more of a sense of humor than you let on, using that popular statement from St. Patrick's Day of 'Kiss me, I'm Irish.' It really was rather inventive and-"

She interrupted him. "You think I put a sign on my back?" Reaching behind her, she found the piece of paper and pulled it off to look at it. She gasped noticing that it read, "Kiss me, I'm Scottish."

"There, do you see? Now are you telling me that the sign was not your idea?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No, I was afraid to tell you how I felt. Someone else must have…" she trailed off, recalling her odd meeting with a certain flying instructor. "Rolanda! When I get my hands on her, she'll wish she never heard of April Fools' Day!"

He gently grasped her shoulders. "Now, now my dear, you mustn't get angry with her. She did show both of us something very important."

Minerva thought for a moment and then nodded. "You are right. I should not be upset with her," she paused and he noticed a mischievous glint appear in her eye. "However, there is still time left to play a small prank on her. And I think I know exactly what to do. We will need Poppy's help."

Rolanda had received a note to come to the infirmary immediately after her last class. When she arrived, Poppy seemed to be analyzing a few potions and various tests and Remus sitting on the bed, waiting for another spell to aid his toothache. Once Poppy had helped him and had given him a glass of water to drink, she faced Rolanda.

"What's wrong, Poppy?" the flying instructor inquired.

The medwitch took a deep breath and placed a hand on her friend's shoulder. "I have some difficult news, Ro," she began. Remus' head jerked up and he watched the two women with concern. "I think you should sit down," she recommended.

Rolanda shook her head. "If it's bad news, I'd prefer to hear it standing up."

Poppy sighed. "Very well. It isn't exactly bad news, but it will complicate your life. Ro," she said quietly. "Ro, you're pregnant."

Remus choked on his water and spit it out. Rolanda tried to grip the side of a bed for support, but missed. Soon the room was spinning and Poppy gasped as Rolanda feinted. Minerva and Albus had been watching, having temporarily turned themselves invisible. They rushed out as Poppy levitated Rolanda onto a bed. Remus stared at all of them, quite confused.

"Would someone please enlighten me as to what is going on?" he asked.

Poppy eyed Minerva. "It was supposed to be a practical joke, nothing more. She had placed a sign on my back that read 'Kiss me, I'm Scottish' and I did not realize it was there until…" she blushed and smiled at Albus and Remus sighed with relief. "I only wanted a bit of revenge and I do hope she's alright."

When Rolanda opened her eyes a few minutes later, she was surprised to see Minerva and Albus. "Minerva, what are you and Albus doing here?"

She sighed. "I'm sorry, Ro. The whole thing was my idea. You are not pregnant. It was a practical joke to get you back for the sign earlier today."

To Minerva's surprise, Rolanda was not mad. She chuckled and sat up in the bed. "I have to admit that your prank was impressive. Min, remind me never to play jokes on you again. You don't just get even; you go for absolutely shocking." Then Rolanda remembered that Albus was standing there. "Min, I have to ask you though, did the sign work?"

Minerva took Albus' hand in hers and nodded. "Yes, and we have you to thank, but don't ever try a stunt like that again on anyone."

Rolanda put her hands up in defeat. "I promise I'll be good. However," she began, standing and grabbing Remus by his sleeve to drag him back into the group, "I should introduce you to my co-conspirator."

Remus smiled sheepishly at the others and nodded. "Alright, I admit it. However, I will say what no one else here has bothered to say. April Fools'!"

Fin.


End file.
